Performative Frank

I’ve never felt this emotion before. I could feel my blood boiling.

Who knew I could feel so strongly about a simple drink?

This past weekend, my friends asked me to hangout with them and I was very excited to do so. But when they mentioned that they would be drinking, I told them that I wouldn’t go out unless they promised they wouldn’t drink. They then replied that they wanted to drink because “it would be the last time that we saw each other for a while” (not exactly what they said but close to it). 

I was on the couch while this happened. I was really sad because I really wanted to hang out but at the same time they said they were drinking and a part of me said that I didn’t want to go because of that. A bit of anger swelled up inside of me for a few reasons. I guess one reason was the emphasis on the drinking part. They sort of doubled down on the drinking so I was really sad on the couch. In fact, I haven’t cried since December but at that moment I felt like I was about to shed a tear. The exact thoughts that were going on in my head looked something like this:

“Does drinking really matter that much? Do you really have to add drinking to one of our final hangouts to make it more special? Is the part of us all being together not enough?”

In a sense, I felt like the value of just a group of friends being out together was being undermined. The people weren’t special enough that we had to add a drink just to make it more special. 

Now, I don’t really hate drinking for what it is but when I was on that couch laying down and reading the text message that explained why they wanted to drink, I felt so miserable and angry. When people sometimes say that they could feel their blood boil, that was exactly how I felt. This strong emotion of disdain towards something so simple.

The drink itself isn’t what I hate. It’s the symbol and idea of it that I hate the most. Am I going to be with who my friends truly are, or am I hanging out with a temporary and false side of my friends? When I look at their face while they are drunk, is that really my friend or is that someone else? While I’m spending quality time with my friends, I don’t want to be thinking about that. I want to appreciate my friends for who they really are and not someone under the influence of a drink.

Fortunately for me, they promised not to drink and so I came along the next day. I guess that’s what you can call real friends: people who are willing to make sacrifices just so you can come along.

People say they drink for several reasons: to let loose, to relieve them from their stresses, or maybe just even as a distraction.

But for me, drinking seems to be a superficial idea: the fact that I would have to rely on a substance to make my life easier. In the extreme sense, I would compare it to being on the same level as something like drugs: if you don’t have it, how would you live? The idea that my life wouldn’t be sustainable without something feels so weird to me. What if that thing disappeared suddenly? How would I survive? I think working towards a life that is as sustainable as possible while maintaining as much fun as possible is a pretty life goal of mine and drinking mostly goes against that philosophy.

With this blog post, I’m not saying you can’t drink. You don’t have to listen to my philosophies at all, but this was something that hit my core the other day and it was something I wanted to share.

Hope you guys are having a nice day and see you tomorrow for the next post :)!

Next Post: Who is a Friend? (6/20/26)

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Photo(s) of the Day

Me and lil’ bro went to our annual doctor checkup today. I found out today that I apparently have lost 26 pounds since last year, which I’m really happy to say. Here’s a pic of him getting a shot. Leading up to the check-up, he kept telling me how he was scared of getting a shot. But today was the first time he hasn’t cried during the shot. So proud of him!! I also included a pic of him sleeping in the car after. I guess you could say the shot took him out.